It was 9 am in the morning when we got the call. An interim placement was needed for a newborn girl – were we available?
Our homestudy had been approved a month earlier, and we have been anxiously awaiting a call. Just not this kind. An interim placement is short term – not at all the adoption match we were pursuing.
With three children aged four and under, we had elected to pursue only legally free children, to avoid a child being placed and then moved from our family. Our fear was that it would be hurtful or confusing to our kids. And like most parents, we wanted to help them avoid pain and confusion. God, in His great mercy and heavenly wisdom had better plans.
In Psalm 68:6, we read that God places the lonely in families. As children of God, the message of adoption is written on our hearts. Through the sacrifice of Jesus, we have all been adopted into the family of God. It is out of an overflow of that love that we consider opening our hearts and homes to a child in need of a family!
As followers of Christ, our goal should be to do the will of our Father! Jesus set a tremendous example for us of living a laid down life. He has asked us, through the grace of Holy Spirit, to do the same. Through His unchanging Word, He provides instruction and insight. Leading us in His good, pleasing, and perfect will. And one of the things dearest to the Father’s heart is adoption.
Every adoption is born out of two things: trauma and loss. For an infant, who leaves the hospital in the arms of their loving parents – there is trauma and loss. For a toddler, who cannot verbalize their past and calls their new parents ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ right away – there is trauma and loss. For a school aged child who for the first time is living as a child instead of as a fill-in parent – there is trauma and loss. For a teen, who finally has someone to provide their needs – there is trauma and loss.
Often, adoption is either romanticized or criminalized. The truth is, it is both beautiful and hard. Adoption should be a story of trauma, loss, and grief that is met with love, compassion, and healing.
We decided to homeschool when we were pregnant with our first child. I had graduated from homeschool at 17, and could appreciate the benefits of home education. Benefits such as children being able to learn at their own pace, using teaching methods tailored to a child’s strengths, and incorporating the foundational truth of scripture into every day learning. What we did not know, was that our decision to homeschool would play a significant role in attachment and bonding, following the adoption of our son.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27 is the most popular scripture referenced regarding orphan care! It is one of our family verses, and was even part of the inspiration for my site name, Living Out 127. It is a beautiful verse that mandates the believer’s participation in looking after orphans and widows in their distress, and keeping ourselves set apart from the things of the world.
We began our adoption adventure when our kids were 3, 20 months, and 6 months. We had committed to opening our hearts and home to a child who needed a family, and after a lot of prayer, we knew the time had come. It was a very long 18 months before our son came home, but that period was the beginning of us learning how to help young children prepare for gaining a sibling through adoption.
When we adopted again, last year, we had five children, aged six and under. The dynamic shifted slightly, as we knew that seeing the adoption process could be challenging for our son. Our understanding of helping our children in this process grew.
In the adoption world, words like security, stability, and routine are used frequently. For families that experience frequent – and sometimes, unplanned – change, this can seem daunting. But the most critical components of these things are found in the relationship between children and their caregivers, not circumstances.
Adoption is providing a loving, safe family for a child in need of one! While the goal of adoption is always the same, there are numerous types of adoption. The most common are infant domestic, international, and foster care adoption.
Biblically, we are to count the cost of something before beginning, to ensure we can finish the work. (Luke 14:28&29) This Biblical truth, coupled with society’s focus on finances, often compels people to allow the cost of adoption to influence their role in caring for orphans. While counting the cost is a good starting place, it should not be used as a sole determining factor!
November is National Adoption Month. It's a time where, as a nation, we focus on the orphan crisis and the role each of us can play in caring for orphans. This month is especially dear to our family, as we celebrate our sons, and advocate for other children.
Here you will find the musings of a homeschooling, work from home, adoptive Momma of 6! Adventures in faith, family, adoption, and training up a tribe of little people to follow hard after Jesus are spilled into these posts --- most often written with a cup of coffee in hand. I hope you'll stick around a while and find something - more likely SOMEONE! - that brings you hope!
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